Maal Masala

Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what's your revenge, your on the rag.

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1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

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1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.

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Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.

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Kissing's a pleasure

Fucking's a game

Guys get all the pleasure

Girls get all the pain

He says he loves you, and you believe it's true

Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.

10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain

3 days in hospital, a child without a name

The baby's a bastard

The mother's a whore

This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore

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10. Come on, who's gonna find out?

9. I promise you wont choke.

8. Can I get you in the pooper?

7. Trust me, I'm a professional.

6. Well, your sister likes it like that.

5. Wow look at the ass on her!

4. Now why cant your boobs be that big?

3. I gotta poop.

2. Oh you forgot to shave today too?

1. I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.

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Now I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so.

Do you have a piece of gum?

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She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.

"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."

"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."

And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

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DEAR CLIT,
YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME
WHEN I FEEL IM BOUT TO EXPLODE
WITH MY HEAD RELAXED & MY EYES ROLLED BACK
YOU PUT ME IN FEEL-GOOD MODE
CLIT, I AINT PLAYED WITH YOU FOR A MIN
I KNOW YOUR PROBABLY SAD AND DOWN
BUT IM WAITING FOR HIM TO OPEN ME UP
AND LICK YOU UP AND ALL AROUND
HE PULLS YOU OUT AND SUCKS YOU HARD
LIKE A VACCUM SET ON HIGH
THEN HE TRIES TO BITE I SEE YOU TRY TO FIGHT
BEGINNING TO SUCK YOU DRY
HE FLICKS HIS TOUNGE LIKE A LONG PAINTBRUSH
ON PAPER BOUT READY TO PAINT
THEN HE SUCKS AGAIN I KNOW IM BOUT TO WIN
FEELS SO GOOD LIKE I CAN FAINT
SPITTING ON YOU AND LICKING IT ALL
JUST TO MAKE YOU EVEN WETTER
INDEX IN MY AZZ, FINALLY AT LAST
JUST TO MAKE THE EXCITEMENT BETTER
AS HE STARTS TO LICK YOU ONCE AGAIN
WHILE HIS FINGER STROKING MY AZZ
IM HIGH IN CLOUDS NEVA OUT OF BOUNDS
GOING LONGER THAN AN HOUR-GLASS
AS I COME RIGHT TO MY EXPLOSION POINT
AND HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO
I SQUIRT, IT FEELS SO GOOD THAT IT HURTS
WE GETTIN READY FOR A GOOD ROUND 2...

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i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickning the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
head so fiyah make ya eyes cross

females cant handle a bitch like me
spreading them legs lickin that pussy slowly
watching my head bob for that pearl cant keep eyes off me
got you facin the wall lickin ass to clit takin you on a ride to ecstasy
makin you flood more then katrina,tryin to get away moanin shay please

i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickning the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
head so fiyah make ya eyes cross

throw you on the bed got you face down ass up
killin the kitty wit tongue lashes got u thinkin damn this wassup
straight my ass one flick of this tongue and that pussy i did corrupt
got you laying in bed wit ya man wishin shay was there to fill you up
wit this tongue,im hungry ma so imma eat u for breakfast lunch and sup

i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickning the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
head so fiyah make ya eyes cross

im done tip toein on the outiside of that sweet kitty
ready to dip my tongue deep gettin to the nitty gritty
ride my face bounce that ass up and down keep up wit me
wetness runnin down my face and it aint tears damn this how wet u be
i got that ass you hooked,and ya man shocked looking shitty....
.......wanna know why.....
............cus...............
i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickning the clit
lickin lickin the clit
i be lickin the clit
lickin lickin the clit
head so fiyah make ya eyes cross

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I
am bl
per p ee
fect le d
tion as for
I am e my
not child
a litt ren
le girl I
hairless breathe
and asha so that
med, no I you may
am woman go on
growling with enter living
sophisti with in pink
cation caution velvet
and I can br eleg
ooz aek ance
ing s
B o
E t
A a
U k
T e
Y r p
i
d
e

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Thoughts of kissing her "vagina"

Has her tripping...but I plan to have her drippin

As I am sippin on her juices...flowing onto the tip of my tongue

I slurp..."mmmm" you taste good mami...

Like a kid eating and ice cream cone..

Don't let it drip!

Yes I wanna "kiss your vagina"

I suppose I could have said-'suck your pussy' or a choice of many other

To the point phrases
But the mere fact that I have you thinking about the way I said it

Contemplating means I got your attention...

So when I lay you back with your legs spread...

Looking up at you and smiling inbetween each lick...

......................................................................

And you are watching me and trembling-
Pulsating, shaking, cumming, creaming-

Everywhere, I suck on your inner thighs and then tease your clit
with my tongue...

You hips arch up in the air and I push you back down...
Holding you there..............

......................................

Thoughts of how sexy you would sound run through my mind...

Watching the desire in your eyes...

Watching your lips whisper "yes...yes...yes!!!"

As you see my go to work...
My strong hands holding your thighs apart...

Yes keep thinking about what it would be like to feel my full, thick, lips on you
Then letting you taste your sweet nectar...

"Mmmmm" Delicious....

Well I will leave you with that thought with my sophisticated self....
Although I may have phrased it in such a grammatically correct way

Believe when I say there won't be no "proper" actions when I am
Kissing your 'vagina' that day

Just Imagine....

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Have you seen my vagina of late?
It is dark, black and hairy
It is warm, lukewarm and sexy
It is the crucible of paradoxes:
It is both weak and strong
Soft and hard
It builds and destroys
It makes and breaks
It is sometimes the conqueror, sometimes
the conquered
Men crave for it, but turn around and
destroy it

My vagina is coming
In fact, it is already here
Here to sing a canticle to the world
Here to remind the world of its
indispensability
It is the door through which all
humanity goes
Labyrinth where all men pass to sow
their seeds
Home of indescribable pleasure

My vagina is ...

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Questions & Answers for real fun

Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.

Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

* 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S

Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy's hand......

* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked "Why"?
The animals told him......... .."Your tail is in the front"

Last but not least
Secret of long life...
Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night between two legs…

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Before and After Marriage Actions

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!!

DICK : Ah..At last. I can hardly wait!
CLIT : Do you want me to leave?
DICK : No! dont' even think about it
CLIT: Do you love me?
DICK : Of Course! Always did and always will
CLIT : Have you ever cheated on me?
DICK : No!Why are you even asking?
CLIT: Will you kiss me?
DICK : Every chance I get!
CLIT: Will you hit me?
DICK : Hell no! Are you crazy?
CLIT: Can I trust you?
DICK : Yes
CLIT: Darling

AFTER MARRIAGE!!!

Read from the Bottom back to Top

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Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms.
They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly. Imagine the trademarks:

Nike Condoms : - Just do it.
Toyota Condoms : - Oh.. what a feeling.
Ford Condoms : - The ride of your life.
Sony Condoms : - Do not underestimate the power of Sony Condoms.
Microsoft Condoms : - Where do you want to go today ?
KFC Condoms : - Finger Licking Good.
M&Ms Condoms : - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Coca-Cola Condoms : - The Real Thing.
Ever-Ready Condoms : - Keep going and going ....
Macintosh Condoms : - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Pringles Condoms : - Once you pop, you can't stop.

USA Brands
Budwiser Condoms:- This bud's for you
Burger King Condoms:- Home of the Whopper
Gatorade Condoms:- The thirst Quencher Ball
Park Franks Condoms:- They plump when you use em
Charmin Condoms:- Don't squeeze the Charmin

Telecom Brands
Nokia Condoms:- This is Human Technology
Ericsson Condoms:- It's all about connecting people
ATT Condoms:- The right choice
Motorola Condoms:- What you never thought possible

And my personal favorite:
Movies Godzilla Condoms:- Size does matter!!!

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MUNNA:

Munni woh din yaad karo,
Jab Hum-Tum saath Nahate thhe.
Tum Choot pe Saabun malti thhi,
Hum Lund pe Jhaag udaate thhe.

MUNNI:

Munna woh din beet gaye,
Ab Choot chhupane ki hai baari,
Bhoolo un beeti Yaadon ko,
Munni Bharat ki ab hai Naari.

MUNNA:

Munni woh din yaad karo..
Jab Hum Doctor-Mareez ban jaate thhe.
Dil ki dhadkan check karne ko,
Choochi pe ragad lagaate thhe.

MUNNI:

Munna who din beet gaye,
Ab choochi choli ke andar hai.
Ghoor-Ghoor ke dekh tu Mammey,
Ab Tu bhookha Bandar hai.

MUNNA:

Munni who din yaad karo..
Jab Hum-Tum saath mein Sote thhe,
Tum Choot mein Kheti karti thhi,
Hum Lund pe ganne bote thhe.

MUNNI:

Munna woh din beet gaye,
Jab Choot mein hoti thhi Kheti.
Ab Lund ki faslo ke darr se,
Meri Choot akeyli hai Soti.

MUNNA:

Munni woh din yaad karo...
Jab luka-chhipi khelte thhe Hum.
Tum Lahanga pahan ke aati thhi,
Aur usme chhup jaate thhe Hum.

MUNNI:

Munna woh din beet gaye...
Jab ghus gaye thhe tum Lahange mein.
Ab tum poorey Bhaaloo ho,
Aur Shahad ka chhatta Lagange mein.

MUNNA:

Munni woh din yaad karo...
Jab Saath mein khele thhe Holi.
Choot mein ungli daali humne,
Bhigaa ke teri wo choli.

MUNNI:

Munna wo din beet gaye...
Ab choot humaari pyaari hai.
Kyon Holi ki baatein ab jab,
Lauda tera bhikhaari hai.

MUNNA (Rote Hue!):

Munni woh din beet gaye
Sachmuch hee woh din beet gaye.
Ab Choot ki Darshan ki khatir,
Hum Choot-Chalisa padhte hain.
Par Choot naheen Darshan deti,
Hum Lund ragadte rahte hain.
Par waqt Humaara aayega,
Jab hum bhi tum ko chodenge.
Tum lund-lund chillaogi,
Hum choot mein Danda pelenge.
Munni Munne ko kam na samajh,
Yeh teri maiyya chodega.
Tu phuddi pakad kar royegi
Teri choot mein bamboo thokegaa.
Munna bhi hai Bharat ka,
Tujhko Nanga kar dega.
Tu lakh jod lena tango ko,
Teri choot ko who to choosega.
Tujhko poora geela karke,
Munna lund andar ghusaayega.
Choosega tere honthon ko,
Choochi teri chabaayega.
Tu cheekhegi, chillayegi par,
Koi naheen bachaayega.
Ragad Ragad ke Munna lega,
Apni tujhe banaayega.

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PUNE-Please Use Nirodh Everyday.
PARIS-Please Allow Rape In School.
USA-Under Skirt Activity.
JAPAN-Jumping And Pumping At Night.
LIMCA-Lund In My Cunt Always.
LOVE-Lund On Vagina Everytime.
LIFE-Lund Is a Fucking Entertainer.

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Names Of "LUND" With Age :

1-5: Tatudi
6-10: Lulli
11-15: Tatto
16-21: Lund
22-29: Lodo
30-40: Shikari
41-50: Naram Garam
51-60: Kaam Chor
61-75: Zinda Laash.

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-I Want 2 put my sim in ur mobile.
-I Want 2 put my pole in ur hole.
-I Want 2 put my lipstick on ur lips.
-I Want 2 put my maal in ur khaal.
-I Want 2 put my meat in ur clit.
-I want to insert my jack into your port.
-I want to jack off my load in ur container.
-Can i insert my hardware into ur system.
-I like playing cricket on a wet pitch & deep gully.
-My cock loves ur pussy. Y not help them pair.
-Ur pussy must be lonely. My cock is a great company.
-I'm thirsty. I need ur fresh juice.
-My tool wants to grind ur hole for liquid.
-My tool needs to work in ur tunnel.
-Is ur pussy hungry for a cock.
-I luv seeing blood. Can i dig in ur pussy.
-I'm a virgin. Can i break my record with u.
-I like grassy landscapes. I like digging thru them.
-My cock is pure non-veg. It simply loves meat.
-I'm an animal eater. I love pussies with white sause.
-Chalo mil ke billi maarte hai.
-I love black forest with cream. Can i have a taste of it.
-My weapon is loaded & live. Plz give it a place to rest.
-My weapon is loaded. Plz give it a hole to shoot.
-My plane is up in the sky. Plz give it a place to land in ur hilly area.
-My cock is a good dancer. Plz help him with a dance floor.

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Muhaware aur unke Arth.

1.Gand khujana-Chintan karna
2.Gand ghisna-Parishram karna
3.Gand dikhana-Samashya se dur bhagna
4.Gand me ungli karna-vyavdhan uttapan karna
5.Gand jalna-irshya karna
6.Gand Fatna-Darr jana
7.Gand maarna-Dushmani nikalna
8.Gand marwana-Gulami karna
9.Gand me titar ka baal-Bahut jyada active hona
10.Gand pe laat maarna-Reject karna
11.Gand me Gusna-Chamchagiri karna
12.Gand Gale me aana-Mushkil me fasna
13.Gand Geet gana-Khushiya manana.

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HOT COUPLE DOING SEX IN ALMOST EVERY POSE EXIST IN WORLD
SIZE: 68MB
DURATION: 1HR 5MINS
FORMAT: AVI

CAPS:

VIDEO:

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Preview:

File Name: Isabel_Kaif.avi

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File Name: Couple_Scandal.avi

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